I took this picture out at camp 10 days ago. When we arrived in Serbia the week before that, we were tired, jet-lagged, grieving, missing family, and cold. Winter can be gloomy, dark, and cold. Not exactly conditions that pull you outside. I just wanted to hunker down under the covers. It was good to be back in our home and in our bed, but it was hard. We had said goodbye to our sons, our daughter-in-law, and our grandson. We said goodbye to our parents and siblings and nieces and nephews. We've done this for the past 15 years. This time it was much more difficult.
The day after I took that picture, the sun came out. And stayed out for many days. It was still difficult to get going, but there was a pull to go outside. The sunshine pulled me outside. The sunshine pulled me to visit with friends, to go around town, to engage. It wasn't the sunshine. It was the Lord gently lifting me and carrying me. Just as there is rain and snow, just as there is winter, there will be sunshine and there will be spring. Does it cancel out the winter? No. Things are changed forever. But there is hope. There is hope. And there is new growth. There is resurrection. What seemed completely dark and hopeless will burst forth with new life! I've been meditating on Lamentations 3 (take a few minutes to read it here). I keep settling on these verses:
The day after I took that picture, the sun came out. And stayed out for many days. It was still difficult to get going, but there was a pull to go outside. The sunshine pulled me outside. The sunshine pulled me to visit with friends, to go around town, to engage. It wasn't the sunshine. It was the Lord gently lifting me and carrying me. Just as there is rain and snow, just as there is winter, there will be sunshine and there will be spring. Does it cancel out the winter? No. Things are changed forever. But there is hope. There is hope. And there is new growth. There is resurrection. What seemed completely dark and hopeless will burst forth with new life! I've been meditating on Lamentations 3 (take a few minutes to read it here). I keep settling on these verses:
"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in him.'” Lamentations 3:21-24.
He is faithful. He is faithful. We can trust Him. You can trust Him.
A few days after the sunshine, the rain returned. On Monday I was overwhelmed with sadness and grief. I cried all day long. And you know what? The Lord was with me as I cried. With me as I was curled up in a ball. As I talked with my sister who was feeling the same way. As we cried to the Lord for our precious brother, sister-in-law, nieces and our parents. I kept thinking, "I'm just the aunt. How am I so overcome with grief? How much more the immediate family is grieving? Am I being selfish? Unreasonable?" I would say that none of this is "reasonable." None of this is imaginable. All of this is horrible. And we are all affected deeply.
But He is faithful. He is faithful. We can trust Him. You can trust Him. I will trust Him.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness.
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